Much better than the first!
FUCK! You have been accepted at Sir CRASH's school of HORRID Magic. As a first-year student, you will be assigned a 20000-headed Lizard named Needledick who will show you around the campus, clean your Toilet Paper, and scratch your Ass.
Before school begins in March, you will need to go to Nigeria. While there, you should purchase materials for your Battling King Kong and Simple FUCKING Spells classes.
Your lab partner will be Missy Elliott. She's an expert at conjuring Grasshopper-flavored Chips out of Asses of Dragon, so we're sure you'll get along well.
We also hope you'll join one of our after-school activities, such as the Magical SHIT Team. If you've got any questions, contact your counselor, Pauly Shore. We anticipate seeing you at Halloween!